When and why should I complete a Form DHA-31: Affidavit for the Purpose of Marriage By A Person Without South African Identity Document?
When you marry, you have to show your South African Identity Document to the marriage officer, and usually provide them with a copy. Why? – because they have to know that you are who you say you are, and secondly because the need to record the correct identity details in the marriage register.
BUT
What if you don’t have a South African Identity document?
If you are a South African and have lost your ID, then you will need to apply for a new ID from the Department of Home Affairs. If there isn’t enough time before your wedding to get a new ID, then you can apply for a temporary ID document which can be used for registering your marriage.
Apart from losing your ID document, other reasons for not having one include:
You are not a South African Citizen or
Your birth has not been registered
Usually, Form DHA-31 is used by Foreign Nationals who are marrying in South Africa.
Instead of a South African ID document, Foreign Nationals must provide their Passport and a completed Form DHA-31 which explains why they do not have a South African Identity document. They tick the box alongside the statement: “I am not a South African Citizen”.
In the form they must provide details of their:
Passport number
Gender
Date of Birth
Citizenship
Surname
First names
Town/City and Country of Birth
Permanent Residential Address
Residential Status in South Africa (eg Visitor/ Work permit etc)
Permit Number if a permit is required for them to be in South Africa
Then the full details of their prospective Spouse or Partner must be provided.
Finally, the affidavit needs to be sworn to before a Commissioner of Oaths who must enter their details at the bottom of the page.
So what are you looking for in the person who conducts your wedding ceremony, the marriage officer or wedding celebrant?
Well, obviously, you’re looking for someone who can legalize your marriage. In other words, sign the paperwork, take it to Home Affairs, and make sure that the government knows you’re married. That’s quite important in a wedding ceremony.
But it goes far beyond that.
Perhaps you’re looking for someone who is relatable, someone who will make sure that you’re comfortable and that you and your guests actually enjoy the wedding ceremony. Someone who might have a sense of humor and will connect with you effortlessly.
You’re also looking for someone who will ensure that your guests enjoy the wedding ceremony just as much as the celebration that follows. You don’t want them to feel like the ceremony is something to endure before getting to the reception—you want it all to feel like one seamless, joyful experience.
What else would you be looking for?
Maybe someone who makes you feel at ease. Weddings can be nerve-wracking. We take two people who don’t normally do public speaking and put them in front of all their friends and family, asking them to swear eternal love to each other. That can be a little intimidating.
There’s so much to remember, so much preparation leading up to the day. There are speeches to make, details to finalize, and it can all feel overwhelming.
Part of my job is to ensure that at, least during the ceremony, you feel comfortable and can truly enjoy the moment. I can’t do anything about the reception, but during the ceremony, my focus is on making sure you feel relaxed and present.
We work together to ensure I understand exactly what you want for your wedding ceremony. Once that’s clear, I make it happen. You don’t have to worry about remembering your words or what comes next—I guide you through every part of the ceremony, allowing you to relax and fully enjoy the experience.
Over the last 30 years, I’ve officiated a couple of thousand weddings.
If you feel that I’m the kind of person you’re looking for—someone approachable, someone who listens, and someone who ensures that both you and your guests enjoy the ceremony as much as the celebration afterward—I would love to be part of your special day.
Whatever you choose, I hope you enjoy every moment of planning for your big day.
Writing your own marriage vows is a beautiful and personal way to express your love and commitment to your partner.
While traditional vows are meaningful, personalized vows add a unique touch to your wedding ceremony, making it even more memorable. If you’re unsure where to start, this guide will walk you through the process of crafting heartfelt, meaningful vows that reflect your love story.
Step 1: Reflect on Your Relationship
Before putting pen to paper, take some time to reflect on your journey as a couple. Consider the following questions:
How did you meet, and what drew you to your partner?
What are some defining moments in your relationship?
What do you love most about your partner?
How have they changed your life for the better?
What promises do you want to make for your future together?
Jotting down your thoughts will help you uncover the key themes you want to include in your vows.
Step 2: Set the Tone
Your vows should reflect your personality and the overall tone of your wedding. Do you want them to be romantic, humorous, poetic, or simple and heartfelt? Some couples prefer a balance of sincerity and lightheartedness, so don’t be afraid to let your personality shine.
Step 3: Outline Your Vows
A well-structured vow typically follows this outline:
Express Your Love – Start with a heartfelt declaration of your love and admiration.
Share Your Journey – Mention key moments in your relationship that have shaped your bond.
Make Promises – Vows should include specific promises you want to make to your partner. These can be serious (“I promise to always support your dreams”) or playful (“I promise to share my fries even when I don’t want to”).
Look to the Future – Conclude by envisioning your future together and reaffirming your commitment.
Step 4: Keep It Concise
While it’s tempting to pour out your heart in a lengthy speech, try to keep your vows within 1-2 minutes. This ensures they remain engaging and impactful while keeping the ceremony flowing smoothly.
Step 5: Personalize with Meaningful Details
Adding personal anecdotes and inside jokes can make your vows feel more intimate and unique. Mention specific qualities you love about your partner and recall moments that define your relationship.
Step 6: Practice and Edit
Once you’ve written a draft, read it out loud to see how it sounds. Edit for clarity and flow, making sure every word adds value. Practicing will also help you gain confidence in delivering your vows on your big day.
Step 7: Write a Final Copy
Once you’re happy with your vows, write or print a final copy on a small card or keepsake. This will ensure you have them handy during the ceremony.
Final Thoughts
Writing your own marriage vows is a deeply meaningful experience that allows you to express your love in a personal way. By reflecting on your relationship, setting the right tone, and practicing your delivery, you can craft vows that truly capture your love and commitment. Take your time, speak from the heart, and enjoy this special moment with your partner.
So, you’ve said “I do,” danced the night away, and eaten your weight in wedding cake.
Now what?
Marriage isn’t just about the big day—it’s about all the little (and big) moments that come after.
If you’re looking for ways to keep the magic alive and celebrate your vows beyond your wedding day, you’re in the right place!
Here are some fun, meaningful, and maybe even slightly quirky ways to honour your love year after year.
Vow Renewal—But Make It Your Style
Who says you have to wait 25 years for a vow renewal? Renew your vows whenever you feel like it—on your first anniversary, your fifth, or even every year if you’re into grand romantic gestures. Keep it formal or go casual: say your vows while skydiving, on a cozy picnic, or even in your pajamas over pancakes. Your love, your rules.
Start a Love Letter Tradition
Write each other a heartfelt letter every year on your anniversary. Seal them in a box or read them together over a bottle of wine. It’s a beautiful way to reflect on your journey and see how your love story evolves.
Recreate Your First Date
Relive the magic (or the awkwardness) of your first date! Whether it was a fancy dinner, a coffee shop meet-up, or a night at the bowling alley, recreating that moment can bring back all the butterflies.
Take Annual Wedding Photos—With a Twist
Put that wedding attire to good use and take a fun anniversary photo every year. If wearing your full wedding dress feels like too much then go for something creative—matching outfits, funny themes, or even a “then vs. now” recreation of your wedding day photos.
Host a Mini “Wedding” Party
Invite close friends and family over for an intimate celebration each year. Whether it’s a backyard BBQ or a fancy dinner party, it’s a fun way to toast your love with those who matter most.
Get Matching Tattoos (If You Dare!)
If you’re the adventurous type, consider getting a small, meaningful tattoo together—something subtle like your wedding date, initials, or an inside joke that only the two of you understand.
Plan a Yearly Adventure
Make a pact to visit a new place together every year. Whether it’s an exotic getaway or a weekend road trip, exploring new places keeps things exciting and creates lasting memories.
Make a Time Capsule
Create a wedding time capsule filled with mementos from your big day—letters to your future selves, photos, little keepsakes—and open it on a milestone anniversary to reminisce.
Surprise Each Other with Thoughtful Gestures
Small surprises go a long way! Plan little, unexpected celebrations—breakfast in bed, surprise date nights, or even just leaving cute notes in unexpected places. Keeping the romance alive doesn’t require grand gestures, just a little thoughtfulness.
Turn Your Anniversary into a “Yes Day”
Once a year, give each other a “Yes Day,” where you have to say yes to whatever your partner plans (within reason, of course). It could be a spontaneous trip, a movie marathon of their choice, or an all-day adventure filled with their favorite things.
Create a Joint Bucket List
Write down all the things you want to do together—big or small—and check them off over the years. It’s a great way to stay connected, share dreams, and keep life together exciting.
Adopt a Yearly Tradition Unique to You
Maybe you bake a special cake together, go stargazing on your anniversary, or play the song from your first dance every year at midnight. Creating traditions that are unique to your relationship makes every anniversary feel personal and special.
Give Each Other “Just Because” Vows
You don’t have to save your vows for special occasions. Surprise your partner by promising something sweet on a random day. Have fun with quirky ideas such as: “I vow to always let you have the last slice of pizza” or “I promise to watch your favorite guilty-pleasure TV show without complaining.”
Celebrate Your Wins—Big and Small
Marriage is a journey, and every little victory deserves recognition. Landed a promotion? Nailed a home-cooked meal? Survived assembling IKEA furniture without an argument? Celebrate it! Life is full of moments worth toasting to.
Keep the Laughter Alive
If you can laugh together, you can handle anything.
Whether it’s watching comedy specials, playing pranks on each other, or just embracing the chaos of life, laughter is one of the best ways to keep your love strong.
Create Vow Keepsakes
Turn your vows into tangible mementos. Consider printing them in a keepsake book or framing them as art to display in your home. These serve as daily reminders of the promises you’ve made.
Integrate Vows into Reception Décor
Why not include your vows in your wedding décor? Use excerpts on table cards, banners, or photo displays. These personalized touches create a romantic atmosphere while reinforcing the significance of your shared words.
Engrave Your Vows on Everyday Items
Have a line from your vows engraved on something you use daily—like your wedding bands, a bracelet, a keychain, or even a custom mug. It’s a subtle yet meaningful way to keep those words close.
Record Your Vows and Listen Back
Make an audio or video recording of your vows and listen to them on anniversaries. It’s a powerful way to relive the emotions of your wedding day and reaffirm your promises to each other.
Incorporate Your Vows into Your Daily Life
Use your vows as daily affirmations. Whether it’s writing them in a journal, repeating them as a morning mantra, or surprising your spouse with a random vow reminder, integrating these words into your routine can deepen your connection.
Marriage isn’t about One Perfect Day
—it’s about all the moments that come after. However you choose to celebrate your vows beyond your wedding, make sure it’s something that brings you closer, makes you smile, and reminds you why you fell in love in the first place.
A Guide to Staying Relaxed and Enjoying Every Moment
This guide will walk you through how to prepare for your wedding ceremony in a way that helps you stay relaxed, focused, and connected to your partner. By following these steps, you can let go of unnecessary stress and truly enjoy every moment of your wedding day.
Your wedding day is one of the most exciting and meaningful days of your life. As the big day draws near you are incredibly excited. There may be a touch of nervous energy. At the center of the day is the ceremony built around the moment you and the person you love commit yourselves to each other. It is worth taking time to make sure that not only the venue is prepared but that you are prepared for this special day and wonderful moments that are about to unfold.
There are so many details to manage, emotions run high, and you want to make everything perfect. It’s easy to lose sight of what the day is truly about: celebrating your love and commitment to each other.
“Your wedding day is a reflection of your love and commitment, not a performance that has to be flawless”
-The Night Before-
Prepare Your Mindset for a Stress-Free Day
The night before your wedding is a pivotal time to set the tone for the big day. Rather than getting caught up in last-minute details, focus on preparing your mindset. Start with a good night’s sleep. It’s tempting to stay up late, perhaps celebrating with friends or obsessing over final details, but a restful night will do wonders for your emotional and physical energy.
To help ease pre-wedding jitters, consider practicing mindfulness. Breathing exercises or a brief meditation session can help calm your mind and body, allowing you to enter your wedding day with a sense of peace.
A popular practice is positive visualization. Before bed, take a few minutes to visualize the key moments of the ceremony. Imagine the smiles, the love, and the happiness you will share with your partner and guests. Imagine exchanging your vows and spend a moment contemplating the special words you will say to the one you love as you commit yourself to them. This simple mental exercise can shift your focus away from worries and back to the joy of the occasion.
HOW TO USE POSITIVE VISUALIZATION TO PREPARE FOR YOUR CEREMONY
Embrace all the senses to place yourself in the setting:
Physical: How will you look? What will you be wearing? What does the venue look like?
Environment: How will the ceremony venue look? Who will be there? Who is alongside you?
Task: What are the specifics? What do you need to do? When are you doing it?
Timing: What is happening leading up to the moment? What time of day will the ceremony occur?
Learning: How have you prepared for the ceremony? What might you need to improve?
Emotional: How nervous or alert will you be? Feeling emotions in advance may help you prepare for them.
Perspective: What are you likely to be thinking as the central actor in the imagined scene?
The way you start your wedding day can set the emotional tone for the entire experience. Begin the day with a grounding morning routine that helps you feel centered and calm. Whether it’s enjoying a cup of coffee in peace, practicing yoga, or having breakfast with your closest friends and family, make sure your morning is relaxed and intentional.
The photographers, make-up artists and hairstylists will be with you from early in the morning, wanting your attention and working with you (and on you!). Enjoy their attention and appreciate the work they are doing. Have fun with them. At the same time, don’t let their presence become a distraction or allow their busyness to intrude on your calm.
One of the most effective ways to stay relaxed is by delegating logistics to trusted individuals. Whether it’s a wedding planner, a best friend, or a family member, assign someone to handle the details so you can focus on what’s most important: your partner and the meaning of the day. Trust that your team will take care of the little things, so you don’t have to.
To further set the mood, create an atmosphere that calms and uplifts you. Music can be a powerful tool for relaxation, so consider creating a playlist of your favorite songs that make you feel happy and at ease. Keep the environment calm, positive, and focused on the upcoming celebration of love.
Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay
-Stay Connected to Your Partner-
Focus on Each Other Amidst the Chaos
In the whirlwind of wedding day activity, it can be easy to get swept up in the excitement and lose sight of the most important person: your partner. To counter this, make time to connect with each other throughout the day.
One way to do this is by scheduling a private moment together before the ceremony. This could be a “first look,” where you see each other for the first time in a quiet, intimate setting, or simply a few minutes alone before everything begins. These moments allow you to reconnect, breathe, and remind each other why you’re here – to celebrate your love.
Another way to stay connected is through meaningful gestures. Write each other a heartfelt note or exchange a small token of love before the ceremony. These personal touches will remind you both of the significance of the day and help keep your focus on each other.
Don’t forget to communicate often throughout the day.
Send WhatsApp messages telling each other what you are doing, what’s going on around you and how you are looking forward to seeing them. Share your feelings, thoughts, and emotions with each other to maintain that emotional closeness, even when surrounded by the busyness of the event.
Try to avoid messages of the: “Have you remembered to …..?” type. If you need to check on something with your partner, send one of your team to check on it. Get one of your people to get in touch with one of their people to sort it out. Worrying about details which someone else can deal with shouldn’t be on your agenda.
Image by Bruno from Pixabay
-Manage Wedding Day Nerves-
Tips for Staying Calm
Even with all the preparations in place, wedding day nerves are completely normal. It’s a big day, and it’s okay to feel a little anxious. It’s not often you get to stand in front of all your friends and family and commit yourself to lifelong love. It is bound to cause a few jitters. However, there are simple techniques you can use to stay calm and enjoy the experience.
One of the easiest and most effective methods is deep breathing. When you feel nervous, take a few slow, deep breaths. Inhale for a count of four, hold for four, and exhale for four. This will help calm your nervous system and bring your focus back to the present moment.
Another strategy is to keep things in perspective. Remember, this day is about your love and commitment, not about perfection. If something goes wrong – and it probably will, in some small way – don’t let it derail your day. Focus on the bigger picture: you’re marrying the person you love, and that’s what truly matters.
Finally, lean on your support system. Surround yourself with positive, calming people who can help buffer any last-minute stress. Whether it’s your best friend, a parent, or your wedding planner, make sure you have people around you who can provide reassurance and calm when needed. In the most tactful way, try to keep that friend or family member who seems to thrive on drama, out of your inner circle for the day.
-Ceremony Moments-
Soak It All In
The ceremony is the heart of your wedding day. It’s the moment where you make promises to each other, witnessed by your closest friends and family. With so much significance attached to these moments, it’s important to be present and soak it all in.
One way to do this is by focusing on your vows. These words are the core of the ceremony, the promises you are making to each other.
Many couples prefer to write their own vows to capture the essence of their intent for their marriage. If you find writing your own vows difficult, there are many resources for wedding vows which you can use as they are or personalize.
When it’s time to speak your vows, slow down, make eye contact with your partner, and truly feel the weight and beauty of the words you’re saying.
Another way to stay present is to take mental snapshots. As you walk down the aisle, exchange rings, or share your first kiss, consciously pause and savor the moment. These are the memories you’ll carry with you for the rest of your life, so take a second to let them sink in.
Eye contact is another powerful tool for staying connected during the ceremony. Locking eyes with your partner can create an intimate bubble around the two of you, even in front of a crowd. This simple act will help you stay focused on each other and the love you’re celebrating.
Speak with your Wedding Celebrant about how you would like to position yourselves during the ceremony so that you feel most relaxed and most connected to each other.
-Embrace Imperfections-
Let Go of Control for a Smoother Day
Despite your best efforts, not everything will go perfectly on your wedding day – and that’s okay. Embracing the imperfections can actually make the day more enjoyable and memorable.
Expect the unexpected. Whether it’s a minor wardrobe malfunction, a flower girl with stage fright, or a sudden rain shower, things can and do go wrong. The key is to laugh and move on. Don’t let small hiccups ruin your day. Instead, view them as part of the adventure and an opportunity to create unique memories.
I will never forget a beach ceremony where a wave out of nowhere swept up the sand and through the ceremony venue soaking me, the couple and the guests. At the time it may have seemed a disaster. But sometime in the future they will not be telling their grandchildren about their wedding cake – they will be recounting the family story about what happened to granny and grandpa on their wedding day.
Celebrate the imperfections. Sometimes the things that don’t go according to plan end up being the most memorable and cherished moments of the day. By letting go of control and going with the flow, you’ll free yourself to fully enjoy the day, no matter what happens.
-After the Ceremony-
Transitioning from Ceremony to Celebration
Image by Mircea Iancu from Pixabay
Once the ceremony is over, take a moment to celebrate your first moments as newlyweds. Many couples find that having a few private minutes together after the ceremony helps them transition from the emotional weight of the vows to the joyous celebration ahead.
As the guests leave the ceremony venue to greet you as you emerge, stay behind for a while to catch up. After all, unless you have had a “first look”, it’s the first time you will have had an opportunity to be alone and speak to each other and possibly the last you will have until the formalities of the celebration are over. Enjoy the peaceful moment together before you go out to receive the good wishes of your guests.
This is also the time to shift from ceremony mode to party mode. The energy of the day will naturally change as you move from a solemn and heartfelt ceremony to the fun and excitement of the reception. Embrace this shift and allow yourself to fully enjoy the celebration with your partner and guests.
Finally, stay in the moment. As you greet guests, dance, and enjoy the festivities, keep the focus on each other. The day will fly by, so make a conscious effort to stay present and savor every second.
-The Key to a Happy Day-
Focus on What Truly Matters
One of the great things about your wedding day is that all the planning is over. You may have been preparing for this for months, selecting dates, venues, vendors, menus and flowers. You have checked over your budget, spent hours stressing over guest lists and table placements, choosing your retinue, and of course selecting “The Dress” and the all the other dresses and suites to be worn by your “up front team”. You will have thought about your wedding ceremony and considered the special elements and symbols you would like to have included.
On your wedding day, all that planning comes to an end. At this point you let go of preparation and move into celebration. There is nothing more you can do about it. What is there is there, and what is not there is not there. And even if a few things have been missed, or the serviettes are beige and not champagne colored, you will have more than enough to make it a great day.
Your wedding day is a reflection of your love and commitment, not a performance that has to be flawless. By staying relaxed, focusing on each other, and embracing the meaning of the day, you’ll create a wedding experience that is joyful, memorable, and truly special.
So, take a deep breath, let go of perfection, and enjoy every beautiful, imperfect moment. After all, this day is about the two of you – and that’s what makes it perfect.
How are you preparing for your wedding ceremony?
Add a note in the comments below to let us know what you are doing to make sure you enjoy your wedding ceremony? And if you have already had your ceremony – what did you do to stay focused, calm and relaxed?
The process required for a South African marrying a non-South African looks complicated, but it is really a case of gathering the right documents and then following the process.
For the South African partner these are the documents needed:
A clear copy of your SA ID (not driver’s license or passport)
Three ID photos for inclusion in the marriage register
If you have been previously married, a copy of the relevant divorce decree or death certificate
Proof of residential address
For the foreign partner these are the documents needed:
A clear certified copy of the main page of your passport
A certified copy of the visa which permits you to be in South Africa
A pro-forma affidavit (Form DHA-31) which states the reason for you not having an SA ID document
Three ID photos for inclusion in the marriage register
If you have been previously married, a copy of the relevant divorce decree or death certificate
Proof of residential address
A letter of non-impediment from your home country stating you are eligible to marry *
An apostille/ letter of authentication attached to the letter of non-impediment (this is to authenticate that the letter of non-impediment is an authentic government document)
*The United Kingdom and USA do not issue letters of non-impediment, in which case a letter needs to be obtained from the local consulate stating the country does not issue such letters. Instead of the letter of non-impediment the person must provide a sworn affidavit stating there is not reason they may not get married.
For both of you:
If you are signing an ante-nuptial contract, you will need to provide a letter (protocol) from your attorney stating you have done so.
Interview at the Immigration Office
Once you have gathered all these documents, we need to arrange for you to have an interview at the Immigration Office of the Department of Home Affairs. I use the office at the Umgeni Road branch of Home Affairs (couples have to be interviewed at the Immigration Office in the area in which the Marriage Officer is registered).
The purpose of the interview is for the Immigration Officer to satisfy themselves that yours is a genuine spousal relationship and not a marriage of convenience (“paper marriage”) as a way of foreign nationals to become SA citizens. It is usually a very benign process.
IMPORTANT: In Durban these interviews currently only take place on the last Tuesday of the month. If you live overseas, please be aware of this when planning your arrival in South Africa before your wedding.
To have the interview, go to the Immigration Office at the Department of Home Affairs (350 Umgeni Road, Durban) any time in the morning from 08:00am onward and ask to be interviewed. You will need to present the Passport of the non-South African partner, the Letter of Non-Impediment and the Identity Document of the South African partner.
At the interview they will verify the passport of the foreign national to ensure the person is in the country legally. The marriage officer will get a copy of the verification document to be attached to all the other marriage documents.
After the interview they will ask you to read through the report they generate and sign it, and then they will give that to the marriage officer to attach to the other documents.
So, in summary:
Get all the documents listed for you and your partner
Go to Immigration in Umgeni Road with the Passport, Letter of Non-Impediment and South African ID and ask to be interviewed
Planning a wedding is an exciting and fun time. Remember that along with the celebration there is also the legal aspect of your marriage. On this page we list the important documents you must have to get married in South Africa.
The marriage laws state that you need to present these documents to the marriage officer conducting your marriage, and that copies of these documents are attached to the marriage register when it is submitted to the Department of Home Affairs. Once the register and the documents have been presented to the Department of Home Affairs your marriage will be noted in the Population Register.
Get all the documents together well before your wedding. It is not an arduous task, but easily forgotten among all the other preparation, so best get it seen to sooner rather than later:
* Your South African Identity documents (either the card or book type). Driver’s licenses and passports are not accepted as valid ID documents.
* The Identity Documents of your two Witnesses (they may present a passport only if they are foreign nationals)
* A Letter from your Attorney Regarding your Ante-Nuptial Contract – if you are signing an ante-nuptial contract your attorney will give you a letter to present to the marriage officer stating that this has been done. An ante-nuptial contract must be signed before the marriage is solemnized. It is strongly advised that you consult an attorney regarding the various marriage regimes and their implications before you get married.
* Three ID sized photographs of each of you – these will be included in the marriage register.
* Divorce or Death Certificates – if you have been previously married, the relevant evidence of divorce or death of the previous spouse must be presented to the marriage officer as proof that you are no longer married. It is also worthwhile checking with the Department of Home Affairs that your current marital status is recorded as either divorced or widowed.
If you are a South African citizen and the person you are marrying is a non-South African or does not have permanent residence in South Africa, then the information you need is on this page.
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